Best Behavior

I have been trying so long to be good

To cross my t’s and dot my i's

To sit quietly and not be seen

To notice when you’re getting angry

To tell the truth, even when I may get punished for it

I have been trying for so long

And I don’t feel any better about myself

For being good the way you defined it

I have been trying to be good

I gave up smoking after twenty years

But I still hit my vape from time to time

And tell myself that it is different

I have been trying to be good

Day after day, I try

But to tell you I’ve been good

Would only be a lie

I have done all the things I wasn’t supposed to do

I laid with angels in alleyways but survived cold nights

By sleeping with the devils and my demons, too

And now that I am alone, I am free

To do whatever I want to do

I was trying to be good

But good isn’t good enough anymore

I need to know I do my best everyday

Even when I’m a little whore

Because when I’m myself,

I know who I am

And there’s so much me to explore

So I don’t try to be good

Or bad

Or anything but me

Because there’s so much me to explore

And I dot all my teas and cross my eyes

To see what the future

Has in store